The discovery of hands…

morning walk at 3 months…

morning walk at 4 months!

forward facing, large and in charge of his world.

First, I want to say thanks to everyone who commented and wrote to me about sleep and the lack thereof. It really makes a difference to feel that we are not alone in this. In the middle of the night when doubts about my parenting and my baby’s development loom largest I remember that we are one among MANY going through this. There is no right answer.

My friend Kisha‘s husband Ben (they are new parents–CONGRATS GUYS!) wrote me to suggest that we give Sufyan a bottle for some feedings so that Faris could feed him and I could sleep. YES. This is a fantastic idea. And I want to support their flexibilty in parenting. My friend Liz and I call this “The Malcolm X School of Parenting: by any means necessary.” It has been so important for us to stay flexible and respond to needs as they come up rather than being dogmatic about our desire to be exclusively breastfeeding or exclusively co-sleeping or exclusively anything, really. I reject the idea that a mom going crazy with sleep dep and hurting her health (like me) should stick it out no matter what for the ideal of exclusively breastfeeding. So, props to Kisha and Ben for finding a way that keeps the family happy and healthy.

I would do the bottle thing at night for the sake of sleep. I would. But Sufyan refuses a bottle. It’s his decision to be exclusively breastfed–for now anyway.

4 months old today!


2 thoughts on “more

  1. Can I just say the first pic looks reminds me of that old Kids in the Hall skit where they are crushing people’s heads? Also, you are looking skinny mama :)Seriously, I hope the sleep thing gets better. I wish we could offer some magical advice but it’s different for every kid, even every age. We’ll keep sending hopeful, sleepy vibes your way though.

  2. First, I just want to say that you and Faris are great parents. Even through sleep deprivation and everything else…you still want Sufyan to be happy first.Ok, some breastfed babies (mine and apparently yours) won’t take a bottle becuase they figure out quickly that it’s not a breast. Also, sometimes they are picky about the nipple…so shop around. AND….sometimes they will take a bottle from someone other than a parent, but not if mama is around. Sneaky little pumpkins, aren’t they? So even though a bottle seems like a great idea to help you sleep…not always.Second, let’s just take note that a crib does not equal great sleep. Even babies who sleep in cribs have trouble sleeping or want to nurse every hour. How much more would this suck if you had to walk down the hall to the nursery every time he woke up? I know the grass is always greener, but I tried it that way with our first baby and nearly went insane…which is what fuled our switch to attachment parenting.I think the idea to put Sufyan between you and the wall is a great idea. This is what we did and it was great not only to help me sleep, but also because you actually get to TOUCH your husband. So scoot the bed against the wall and make sufyan’s little nest there and see if that helps.And, ok, I know I’m your midwife and my job technically ended at 6 weeks postpartum, but please don’t hesitate to call if you need to vent or just a new idea about something. Look…it’s 2:50am right now and here I sit on the computer. So, I’m around and happy to help!I love you all and I hope that things get better. Really, it does get easier, and this time will seem like a blink….a very fuzzy blink.

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