getting back to our story

I have to get to bed. I need sleep. No kidding.
BUT I want to begin to report on what may be the end of our nursing relationship.
Not ending immediately, I hope, but signs MAY be indicating that Sufyan is losing interest slowly.
So what does weening look like if you let the baby lead?
Well, I don’t know. I am not ready emotionally to have this happen. But I will take my cues from my son.
Lately, he has a harder time going to sleep while nursing. This has been our one and only sure thing since birth. He nurses to go to sleep. Period. But lately he has tossed and turned, broken latch and played, kicked, and stopped nursing for a bit to stay up and practice sounds….not just drifting off like he used to. Eventually he will sleep, but not as readily.
Combine this with his recent change in nursing habits during the day: he asks to nurse frequently but only nurses for about 10 seconds. Then he is off to do whatever baby work needs to be done. Like turning knobs on our dresser so they squeak. Squeeeeeak.
Until recently he would only nurse maybe once during the day when not going down for a nap, and I would have to remind him to do it. It has been like this since he was 4 months old–he has pretty much only nursed when going into or coming up from a nap. He just can’t be bothered, it’s ACTION time. That said, he still nursed a lot because he nursed when waking as well as when drifting off.

Can I just say the thought of weening is heartbreaking for me? Surely it’s too soon for this, the most beautiful, soft, caring, intimate, loving, gentle, heart to heart time to come to a close. I love nursing my baby.
And I know this is not about me. If he is weening it won’t be because I nudged him to do it, it will be because he is ready. Now, if only I was ready.

Then again, maybe what I am noticing is just a phase we are going through. Maybe next week or so he will have renewed interest. Either way, I am posting it so I can remember later what came of it. If it’s weening, I will be able to share that info with other new moms and I will remember it for next baby (currently just a hope, no news there). If its not weening I will be relieved.

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6 thoughts on “getting back to our story

  1. Molly went through a phase like that when she was about 8-9 months old. I was worried she was going to stop nursing too, but she kept right on going until she was over two. “Couldn’t be bothered” is a good way to put it — those little guys have places to go and people to see! I hope it all works out well for both of you.

  2. I’ve heard that when little ones start to walk, they become so distracted with their new skill and freedom that sporadic feeding may follow, but that they may go back to the boob while they’re still figuring it all out. Of course you’re not ready to give it up! He’s still so young, AND it’s been your secret weapon to help him sleep (of which he already does very little)! You are doing all the right things by letting him decide and watching his cues. Hopefully it’s not the case, but if he is ready to stop, hopefully that will bring something positive in its place, like a better sleeping pattern… With the close of every chapter in a baby’s life there is the exciting new beginning of the next chapter. But I know that if he stops, nothing takes the place of that – it will be something you will mourn for a long time. But again, hopefully something positive will come in its place, and hopefully you will experience the wonderful joy of breastfeeding again soon with your second child!

  3. I completely understand what you’re feeling. One week E nurses non-stop, the next week I practically have to force the issue. These past 3 days he’s nursed very quickly–pushing away to go play with his blocks. I think the best way to look at it because it is a bit heartbreaking for mama is that at least we are not taking something away from our children that they are still very attached to. We are giving them all that they need until they tell us they no longer need it. That’s really beautiful. This is possibly just a phase, as you mentioned. And if not, it has been and will always be your own perfect union.

  4. I completely understand what you’re feeling. One week E nurses non-stop, the next week I practically have to force the issue. These past 3 days he’s nursed very quickly–pushing away to go play with his blocks. I think the best way to look at it because it is a bit heartbreaking for mama is that at least we are not taking something away from our children that they are still very attached to. We are giving them all that they need until they tell us they no longer need it. That’s really beautiful. This is possibly just a phase, as you mentioned. And if not, it has been and will always be your own perfect union.

  5. Lily just went through a phase of not falling asleep nursing. It was exhausting. She had to be bounced on the exercise ball at all hours of the night. Turns out it was gas and poops. We added juice and probiotics to her daily regimen and now she falls asleep nursing again.

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