snapshots of my bliss (it’s mine, you can’t have it)

must have cream cheese and avocado with yellow peppers NOW. for the baby.

so nauseous. wake from my nap as S wakes from his. moving slow, moving nauseous. the best i can do for, like, half an hour is to sit on my kitchen floor in my underwear with all the lights off and shades drawn and cautiously eat baby graham crackers from a box decorated with elmo while sufyan runs around like a mad man opening all the cabinets.

spent 4 hours on the couch moaning in a heap, crying for nausea to stop, and saying,”Faris, please stop breathing on me”, “no, don’t make me talk right now” and “don’t talk to me about food.”

i lay down on the couch often lately, and very often at dinner because dinner is nausea inducing. i always use the same pink blanket to cover up. so now, when i leave the room for any reason in the direction of the couch, sufyan makes a sleeping/snoring noise and points at me. when he sees the blanket, he says, “mama” and puts his head down on it.

it is 1pm and i am still not dressed.
as i said, this bliss is mine all mine. go get your own.


4 thoughts on “snapshots of my bliss (it’s mine, you can’t have it)

  1. I have to admit that while I am generally FULL of bliss, you have even MORE! I feel so sad for you, and I'll continue to send best wishes your way *hugs*

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