so soon now

The emotional roller coaster has not slowed down a bit. I find myself in a place of reaction to every comment about this upcoming birth and the spacing of my children whether the comment is from a friend or a total stranger. And, like last time, total strangers seem to feel somehow entitled to comment. This doesn’t surprise me, and it no longer offends me, but I do have a reaction. I find myself hoping that the person says something encouraging, and no matter what they say I try to find something good in it. When they say, “wow. you’ll be busy for a while!” I am desperate to hear, “But then it will pay off! A while is not forever! Close spaced siblings become great friends!” The most lovely thing said to me so far is in the vein of “I think a sibling is the best gift you can give your child.” Faris has said this over and over, and recently Bernadette did as well.
So, if anyone ever is at a loss for what to say to a pregnant woman, go with the totally positive, 100% supportive, glowing review of her capability to handle whatever is coming with a smile on her face, clean clothes on her body, a nutritious homemade dinner in the oven and time to spare for her family and friends. I am not kidding.

Sufyan and I went to the park this morning. The only word for the morning we had together is “beautiful”. This was one of the nicest mornings I have ever spent with anyone. We ate tacos that Baba made from home, we played the xylophone and drums:

walked along the mini-train tracks and he told me the colors of all the xmas lights that hung on it
(here he is saying “rrrrrred”)

rode that train (he looooooved it):

And headed home for a nap.

These 2 photos are of my little man last weekend playing a game with me. He was pretending to give me a drink of tea from my bottle, but just before he put it to my mouth he would screw the cap on and I would pretend to be surprised. As you can see, it CRACKED HIM UP.

It’s been cold here in Austin, but just before the cold snap we got some warm-ish rain. In keeping with our family tradition of enjoying the rain whenever and however it comes, Sufyan and I went out barefoot and in pajamas fresh from a nap. I just like the colors in this photo.

Playing in Lucas’ playhouse across the street.

Panda is a favorite buddy and he has started to come on car rides with the little man. Now, I know that recent studies have said absolutely that he should not be forward facing until at least 4 years old (did you know that?) and we are going to turn him back around…but I do love to see him looking out the window and enjoying seeing the world as we drive.

Running. All the time and everywhere and especially in the house just before bed.

speaking of bedtime, isn’t this adorable? After bath he and Baba brush his teeth and of course he does it himself. Look at those curls!

This is a month ago. He loves to find rocks and put them in my hand or in his pocket. Mostly this is a pic of my belly though. It’s much bigger now!

And this is thanksgiving morning. He is pretending to feed me some “snack snack”.

This is actually the morning that he decided he didn’t want me around (see previous post). We went to the Botanical Gardens that morning.

And here he is holding my hand, even though I really was just an irritation to him that day. I don’t know why, but this photo breaks my heart. It’s like I know it won’t last…and I do know that. I simply love him, love holding his tiny hand, love his toddler steps beside me, and for as long as I can I just want to drink it all in. Cheesy as it is, I see this view of us from behind, walking together, and I think that this is life. We just put one foot in front of the other and end up far from where we began. I was a baby once, too. I am sure I walked beside my own mom holding her hand at this age.
The one thing I don’t feel any regret about is staying home with Sufyan. I wouldn’t take that back for anything in the world. I can honestly say that I have made the most of our time as mother and son during these 22 months, and that makes me so happy. He’s 22 months today!


6 thoughts on “so soon now

  1. You are an inspiration! You look and sound fabulous. The next few months will be so amazing and transformational. I can't wait to hear how you come through it with your family. I feel like a different person in many ways since having Clair, and I feel like once a second baby comes, I will be transformed again to a different level. Those butterfly wings at the park remind me of the beautiful transformation coming your way beautiful mama.

  2. wow. tears. you write so beautifully about your love for S & you are going to be a fabulous mama of 2! i admire how in the moment you are, how aware you are that this is the most important moment there is. tammy's right…it is inspirational. sarah s.

  3. What an awesome post- a total celebration of beautiful family moments. I can't wait to see Laila join in on your little traditions, outings and quiet playtimes at home. I love the photo of S brushing his teeth and the ones where you're playing the bottle game. That smile is heart-meltingly cute!

  4. You are so beautiful! I saw a photo yesterday of a friends children. They are quite young and close in age. They were holding hands and it made me want to cry. No friend can ever be your sister or brother. There is nothing like it in the world. To give Sufyan a Laila, and Laila, a Sufyan…well–that is truly the best gift. And it will be for you and Farris too–as you already know.

  5. Beautiful post, Ravyn. I totally believe that giving your child a sibling is an amazing gift. And I did NOT know about the back facing carseat until age 4. Wow. I'll just add that to the long list of things I didn't know. haha.Speaking of words of encouragement, thank you for the words you have given me recently. It helps a lot and I hope all the right words come your way. We need those kind words. It will be wonderful.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s