day by day

Sufyan loooooooves escalators and elevators. And recently, totally by himself, he came up with the idea that a ride on the escalator is much more exciting if you close your eyes! He tries this going down slides, too. It’s so him. Love this little man.

It snowed here yesterday. It snowed big, sloppy, heavy flakes that actually accumulated. In 12 years here I have never seen snow like that. If we get snow, it’s usually unpleasantly icy and stinging. This was fluffy, beautiful and so fun to play in .
Reflux update:
never have I been so able/forced to take life day by day. Due to the constant discomfort of my beloved little Laila and the constant chatter/activity of my beloved Sufyan I can only exist in the moment. I don’t usually have time to think ahead.
So I tell people who ask me when my situation might get better that I hope everything is better here by 1 year.
Laila continues to be in a lot of pain most of the time. She is rarely awake and not screaming or eating.
BUT
she is smiling a lot now!!! So those 10-20 minutes that she might be awake and not screaming or eating are packed with love and kisses.
I am amazed that she is brave enough to smile at all given her discomfort.
She has the most incredible little smile, though! It makes her blue eyes light up and it melts my heart. Thank God for smiles, because I swear without them I might have lost my mind by now.

We now have help in the house with us. A wonderful mama’s helper, and our usual 6 hours/week nanny are here with us most days. I can’t express how good an idea this is for us.
The help is ostensibly for me…but what it really does is keep mama sane so she can be a good mom to her 2 babies. It is as much or more for Sufyan and Laila than for me. I see that now.
I have great pics of Laila but they are scattered amongst various digital cameras and I haven’t had the time to put them together in one place to be uploaded here. But I will.
And when I do you will fall in love with her, too.

Mama mantras I live by:
“This will all be worth it.” (thanks to Amy) and
“I took the vow.” (thanks to a book I am reading. This one really resonates. I am a mom. I took the vow. I am forever and every moment a mother. So I have to get through this.)

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4 thoughts on “day by day

  1. I need to know the name of that book! If it can inspire you to have the strength you are displaying, maybe it can help this mom of a 13 year old daughter! 🙂 Keep your chin up and know that we are all rooting for you!

  2. i would also love to know the name of the book.ravyn, genevieve had reflux and i know what you're going through. it was the hardest 3 months i ever had, ever. it gets better, sooner than a year, i promise!!

  3. I am so glad to hear you have found someone to help out. That is great news. After reading your last post, I wouldn't blame you if you were a bitter basket case (I probably would be) but amazingly you find the will and energy to stay positive enough to enjoy and appreciate your beautiful children. I'm proud of you!

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