Today as I write this my son Sufyan is sitting about 20 feet away reading a book with his nanny. His nanny has been with us for about a year, two times a week, 3 hours at a time.
Most of the time I don’t leave, so me being here is not unusual. We use it as time to have a care giver focus on Sufyan and bring ideas that mama doesn’t think of such as new ways to paint, glue, or dance. It’s been a great thing for us. I started with the nanny when I was newly pregnant with Laila, in the hope that by the time Laila was here Sufyan and the nanny would be old friends and if/when I was distracted he would have her to depend on as well. And it’s worked out for him and for us.
She’s a working artist. She paints and draws and used to teach preschool.
But the thing that snuck up on us is that I never thought about how to get OUT of a nanny relationship.
Since Laila was born, and somewhat before, Sufyan has shown us that he isn’t really getting as much out of his nanny time as he used to. She isn’t really keeping up with him physically. And as his ability to joke around grows, she isn’t adapting. Meaning he is less and less a baby and she is less and less in touch with his new older more capable and hilarious self.
Plus she is much older than us and moves very slowly. That didn’t used to be an issue. But try keeping up with a 2.5 year old boy for just one day and I assure you it is an issue.
Plus her quirkiness is not as interesting as it used to be. She is a safety fanatic. Seemingly a good thing in a nanny, no? Well it is…until it’s not. She has finally stopped moving our tea pot off the stove to the countertop. She would do that because she imagined some day he would go into the kitchen and try to pull it off the stove and it would fall on his head. Sufyan has never looked twice at that pot, nor has he tried ever to pull anything off the stove. Not to mention there are lots of other things within reach in the kitchen. Things that if I imagined hard enough could cause him harm. Like the dish rack. It could fall on him, too.
Mostly though it’s that she can’t get up off the floor fast enough to keep up with him. And she can’t hear well anymore. I mean it’s not too bad, but it’s noticeable these days that she isn’t catching what I’m saying or what Sufyan is saying. And mainly it’s that he dreads seeing her. Not fear, just “do you want to see ____ today?” “NO!!!!” “will you say hello to ______?” “no.” “do you want to play with ______ when she gets here?” “NO.” And often he means it. So I spend a good deal of her time here trying to talk him into doing whatever it is she is trying to set up for him. And that’s NOT her fault I know I know…but it’s not a good use of my time or his or even hers. Time we are paying for.
But I just can’t see a way out without major emotions being gone through or tears being shed. She loves him. And he used to love her a lot. A year is a long time to know a toddler…it’s practically half his life.
what to do? I am currently in the mode of just letting nature take it’s course. I think the right thing will happen. Either she will become friends with him again or we will move out of town (hahahaha! I am such a chicken!!!)
meanwhile…here are some recent super awesome moments:
a gift from his friend Lucas:
this will make you smile or your heart must be stone:
crazy toddler dance!