Out in the parenting wilderness, wandering by design, sometimes happily lost, there is no shortage of moments worth recording. But then it’s snack time, and someone needs a hug, the dishes pile up, 6 baskets of laundry getting dug through for clean clothes (“Mama I don’t have ANY UNDERWEAR!”), and we need to paint and draw (“Mama I drew with my cheese stick! Cheese can DRAW!”) and glue and sticker and get out the door before it’s snack time again.
chalk on windows is nice…and I hear that cheese draws on windows, too….
Laila self portrait in cheese and chalk
Transmission from the wilderness:
Laila turned 4. She is 4 years old and now she says things like, “I can do it because I am big. I am strong and I can do anything” and she names her stuffed animals funny things like “Unigrape” (a purple floppy unicorn) and “Ponycorn” (another unicorn). She also wants her hair pulled back in “pones” (her slang for the traditional pony tail).
birthday gift: a costume I made her for her birthday from a dress we found on consignment. I “bejewled” it for her, made the headband with feathers from a craft store, and put a big brooch on a chain for the necklace. She wore this to school
on this particular day, she wanted her hair to look like “kitty ears” for school. Mama was more than happy to try and oblige!
Her birthday party is yet to come, but her smaller family celebration on the day of her birthday included making a cake to her specifications: a vanilla, chocolate chip, raspberry, strawberry cake with sparkly candles.
Gluten free, dairy free, grain free, maple syrup sweetened awesomeness.
Laila is someone I am both in awe of and feel fiercly compelled to protect. People say she has such a “spark”.
Her spark is a raging fire of creativity, daring physical feats, self confident leaps in development and very soft, very vulnerable, very sweet little girl moments of light and love and asking the big questions.
dressed for a tea party with her dog, “Chica”
Her huge blue eyes shine from the moment she wakes up, and she always has a plan for something great to happen. Every day.
birthday breakfast of buckwheat pancakes in the shape of Minnie Mouse… close enough…
Oh, she just woke up and joined me! Here is Laila right this minute, fresh out of bed:
see what I mean?
What I know is she will do great things, she has the power to be a force for good in the world, she will be brilliant and I want to hold her in my lap, in my arms, for as long as she will let me. After that, I want to give her a boost to any height she needs help reaching and hope that she will always know I love her. I love her endlessly.
I have been meditation more and more consistently than I ever have before in my life. 2 times a day. It is amazing the difference it makes in my day. My mental image is that in those 20 minutes of meditation, my surface mind begins to sink into deeper layers of mind that are always talking in the background. Then those layers get heavy and they sink with the surface mind even deeper, to a level where things that need to be repaired, renewed are circulating. And in that silence, the renewal happens to whatever degree it happens.
us this morning. right now.
How to do this with 2 kids has not been easy. I get up before them (5am) and I sit beside them as they fall asleep. In those 2 spaces, there is enough time and quiet to meditate.